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“You teased me today,” she accused.“I did,” he confessed.“Now you’re teasing me with this.”“Why would you say that?”“You want me to look sexy.”“Okay.”“And when I look sexy, I feel sexy.”“That’s good,” he said.“Not if you won’t help me when I feel that way,” she complained.“I’ll be happy to help you,” he said. “But sometimes it isn’t appropriate.”“What was wrong with this afternoon?”“Len would have noticed that we were missing in action.”“So? Didn’t Tom say they all knew what we were doing?”“Yes, but like you said, this is all new. I want you to have ample time to think about things, and decide what you want to do.”“I wanted you to rub me,” she said, firmly.“Do you want me to rub you right now?”“I don’t know. I think I’m mad at you.”“Well, why don’t you try on your new undies, then?”“Because I can already tell they’ll make me feel sexy,” she said.“And you don’t want to feel sexy right now,” he guessed.“If I start feeling sexy I won’t be able to stay mad at you,” she said.“At last,. “I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I’d hate to feel like this if I was well!”Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics. He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects.“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called his wife.“Byjasis! It damned well better be!”Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding.“Are ya dead?” cried Gallagher from above.“To be sure I.
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